Focus is about saying 'No'

Stress is a state where you want to be in two places at a time. This nonspecific, overwhelming anxiety that kicks in if I am late waking up, that is when my mind wants to work and rest at the same time.

Priorities are often shaped by the meaning we make of our own lives. Though it is generally good to have priorities based on age chunks, it can be more verbose and complex. Priorities at a time define your own identity. And you have to claim that identity by constant efforts. If you don't, then the title expires.

As I write this, I have an exam to attend, and as it starts, it continues for 15 days. I left myself two options—

a) Dissatisfy myself, and

b) Dissatisfy people.

I chose the latter one. Sitting in a Biology class, I never see myself executing any of that knowledge, and it doesn't even compound to give results.

Real education doesn't need any tricks. It doesn't need specific methods like spaced repetition or Pomodoro. I never read non-fiction to memorize it.

When there is an exam tomorrow, but I am living my day as I usually would, that's when my priorities show up. And no one tells you what to prioritize. I sit with my folks, knowing that they aren't playing their game fully. They half-want to get into a reputed university, they half-want to sustain a relationship, they half-want to become an engineer.

I remember an incident where my Math lecturer made me stand up because I didn't raise my hand when he asked who among the students wanted to be a teacher like him. He, making me stand up, asked why I didn't want to pursue this career. I just said, "There are loads of better alternatives." He wanted me to give an example. I said, "Mechanics, Entrepreneurship." Then he continued on: why some engineers end up as private tutors like him.

Here, the priority game comes into play. Someone with a schedule full of learning and executing the underlying mechanism of everyday machines can't end up as a lawyer. Even if he does, it's either that he had no option left, or his life's meaning changed.

Are you falling into the same delusion of having no option left? Casual talks where I am from (surrounded by a lot of hard-working students) include them saying, "I will go into CSE if I get into an Engineering University," or, "I'll get into Dermatology if I get into a Medical College."

Where is your priority, man? Have you already lost?

How to know what to prioritize?

Ask yourself, "What do I hate not doing?"

That reveals the work that you had ignored for all this time. Something that you waited for the time to come. Sit with that from this very moment. Ignore all the other distractions.

On the other hand, if you are someone who has a bunch of priorities, I would tell you to ritualize. David Allen's book Getting Things Done has a good module to schedule your everyday life.

At a given moment, you choose for yourself what you want to do.

What you want to do is focused on two tenses.

Present-focused you: When I am laughing around in environments which would damage the depth of my underlying self is when I am enjoying, and I am present-focused.

Future-focused you: When I am constantly receiving feedback from my environment and head for what would be best for my future self, when I don't indulge myself in vacations and crowds, I tend to become more future-focused.

There should be a balance between these two. But I am admitting that I am more future-focused. And I am trying to change.

When it has been long since you last felt unstoppable, when you last felt a sense of depth, when you felt the most connected to your work, you just need to quit all other things.

In the startup world, everybody talks about a breakthrough; incremental progress, or 1% better every day, doesn't work.

When a finger gets infected, you may apply medicine to it daily, or pray that it gets fixed. None of that would work. If you don't want that infection to spread anymore, and you are tired of the chaos it's causing, just cut it off.

We humans are desiring creatures. We desire many things in this world. And there is nothing wrong with that. But you, while going day to day, should ask where you are right now. Describe your state of body, your state of mind, and choose whether you want to spend the rest of the day, month, or life like that.

When you sit with a thing, go all in. All the other things are distractions. And the distractions shouldn't grow over you.

And throughout this book, you can't find any module's explanation of "how to" do something. Because when I add any kind of how-to's, that becomes your new priority. Think for yourself and take on what's best for you. Self-discovery is the route to build a calm mind.

Don't-have-time Catalogue:

There are people who say, "I want to learn a skill, but I don't have much time. I want to make money, but where is the time?"

Your priorities, though best taken as breakthroughs, also need time. Don't even enter the game of wealth creation if you don't have time. You will lose more time. And you will continue the loop for the rest of your life.

Everybody says that they don't have time. But what they actually don't have is a time-management structure.

And I still don't understand how people my age say they don't have time. The average male lifespan is 73 years, and the average female lifespan is 78. And you're mostly below my age, my age, or in your 20s. How is there not time?

I know. You just don't have time day to day. You have to handle your household, your tutors, and the everyday chaos of your family. Do you see the compounding effect there? You are eventually losing years after years in this same way.

It's, again, just a knowledge problem. Get enough exposure, and you'll be fine.